The internet burned brightly as an escape, a way to show who you were to a wider audience, a way of discovering and sharing things you never knew existed, a way of forcing back the ever encroaching shadows of the real world to keep your internal flame burning just that little bit longer.
Und weil es so schön ist und weil man ja die Zeit irgendwie doch vermisst, hier der ganze Text:
Let’s get this straight, you’re asking for a website from which you can pick and choose a “cool” profile name for your Bebo account. An account which is supposed to be a representative presentation of who you are and what you’re about.
Are you beginning to see the direction my argument is going in? Of course you haven’t. I’ll continue.
Back in the old, dark days of the internet when men were men, women were men and children were FBI agents, no one cared what people thought of them. This was when the internet was still merely a bright spark of newly discovered freedom burning bright against the darkened backdrop of a world half enslaved by totalitarian freedom-hating governments, unscrupulous money grabbing corporations, backward millenia-old religions and millions upon millions of dead-eyed sheeple. The internet burned brightly as an escape, a way to show who you were to a wider audience, a way of discovering and sharing things you never knew existed, a way of forcing back the ever encroaching shadows of the real world to keep your internal flame burning just that little bit longer.
The internet burned brighter and stronger as the rush of people to it acted as fuel to the fire, and the rush of companies to it was the oxygen it needed to sustain itself, and to grow. The Napster and Kazaa era came and went as the dark lords of the world attempted to wrestle back their power from this bastard child of technology and freedom that we know as the web. People pushed each other by finding, creating and sharing things that would have people in the old world hung, drawn and quartered but in this new space, this virtual plane of existence it did not solicit the fiery condemnation of preachers and politicians alike. We laughed. We saw these examples of hate, of destruction and of evil and we laughed and encouraged them; for it was not the same evil as that which ravaged the lands of the physical world, but an evil unsullied by power, money, dogma or time. This was new evil, strong evil, and pure evil. It shaped a generation and a way of life was born. The internet was no longer an escape from life, it was a mirror of it; a dark and distorting mirror in which our reflections are not always what we wanted, hoped or indeed expected to see.
Bebo and such sites are like a swimming pool on an ocean liner, floating in the middle of the endless abyss of the internet. You get a taster of what it’s like to be in the water, but you learn nothing of its depth, breadth or more unsavoury inhabitants. Whether we like it or not however, these fist-clenchingly corporately built sites are part and parcel of the modern internet. The reason for accepting them is that they are an easy way to share at least some tiny proportion of yourself with people. Show them what amuses you, what confuses you, what makes you you.
You come before us, the anonymous masses to ask us for a “cool Bebo profile name” which you can use to impress your real life friends with just how stylish and original you are. We say to you that your attempt to bastardise the concepts of these halls will not be answered.