I promised it, so here it is: my guide to watching “Game of Thrones.”

1. Get the books.
2. Read chapters 1-7, 9 and 12 (Prologue, Bran I, Catelyn I, Daenerys I, Eddard I, Jon I, Catelyn II, Bran II, Daenerys II) then watch episode 1 “Winter is Coming”
3. Read chapters 10, 11, 13 – 18 and 24. (Tyrion I, Jon II, Eddard II, Tyrion II, Catelyn III, Sansa I, Eddard III, Bran III, Daenerys III) then watch episode 2 “The Kingsroad”
4. Read chapters 19–23 and 25 (Catelyn IV, Jon III, Eddard IV, Tyrion III, Arya II, Bran IV) then watch episode 3 “Lord Snow”
5. Read chapters 25-30 and 37 (Bran IV , Eddard V, Jon IV, Eddard VI, Catelyn V, Sansa II, Daenerys IV) then watch episode 4 “Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things”
6. Read chapters 31 to 36 (Eddard VII, Tyrion IV, Arya III, Eddard VIII, Catelyn VI, and Eddard IX) then watch episode 5 “The Wolf and the Lion”
7. Read chapters 38 to 41, 44 to 45, and 47 (Bran V, Tyrion V, Eddard X, Catelyn VII, Eddard XI, Sansa III, and Daenerys V) then watch episode 6 “A Golden Crown”
8. Read chapters 46, 48 to 50, and 55 (Eddard XII, Eddard XIII, Jon VI, Eddard XIV, and Daenerys VI) then watch episode 7 “You Win or You Die”¹
9. Read chapters 43, 51 to 54, 56 to 59 and 62 (Tyrion VI, Arya IV, Sansa IV, Jon VII, Bran VI, Catelyn VIII, Tyrion VII, Sansa V, Eddard XV and Daenerys VII) then watch episode 8 “The Pointy End”
10. Read chapters 59 to 61 and 63 to 66 (Eddard XV, Catelyn IX, Jon VIII, Tyrion VIII, Catelyn X, Daenerys VIII and Arya V) then watch episode 9 “Baelor”
11. Read the remaining chapters, watch “Fire and Blood”
12. Wait until April 1st 2012, enjoy the first episode of season 2.

So basically: watch it, but read the book first. Don’t watch it, if you’re easily offended by gratuitous violence and nudity.