Hi, I'm Dominik Schwind, friend of the internet. Here is /now.

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May 14, 2023

It’s early[1] on a Sunday morning, I’m sitting here with my coffee at the computer, stare at the text editor and think to myself: hm.

The biggest hm this week was probably a therapist appointment I had on Thursday.
Before I move on – we’re all friends here and perpetually online and therefore are comfortable talking openly about this stuff, right? If not, you’re free to leave, thank you very much.

Great, anyway. As astute readers of my blog know, I’ve been looking into getting some help with my mental health. Just like seemingly everybody on the internet, I do find myself nodding along to lists of ADHD symptoms, so I had decided to venture out into the wild and see if there’s a professional to either confirm my suspicion or tell me what else might be happening. Everybody who has ever tried to do this in Germany might know that this is an almost impossible task – most therapists are booked out for months, if not years in advance.
I finally managed to get a booking for three assessment appointments and I was quite elated – I figured I’d get some kind of onboarding experience for my mental health journey, tell the doctor a bit about my life, answer questions and voilá, more clarity.

Readers, this is not what happened. Instead if was frankly the weirdest doctor experience I had in the 40+ years of my life. And I went to the army doctor whose cure for everything were heat patches.
I mostly had to defend my vocabulary choices (roughly half an hour went to a discussion that I used the term “I learned by osmosis” even though I am not a biologist. wtf) and the fact that I had a pretty good childhood.
And in the end, after I talked about my many unfinished things, my inability to judge time and how I keep forgetting the existence of things, tasks and people unless they’re right there in my face and all the emotional turmoil these facts and their consequences bring to me, the doctor basically said that therapy wouldn’t help me because they can’t detect emotional turmoil and it can’t be ADHD because I don’t fidget or walk around.
Uhm. Okay. Thanks for nothing, I guess.

And oh, there’s a new beta of Diablo 4, but it’s the same content as the first one. And no, I didn’t get the new Zelda game.
So how was your week?

  1. as in: Soon after I got up. Not early as in early.  ↩